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Thursday 25 December 2014

#Midnight Sun Challenge Chapter 1.39 Be That Girl


"It all seems surreal.  You know what I mean?"

Maya paced back and forth in front of the couch in the counselors office.

"Until recently, I feel like I have been walking around in some sort of hyper aware state.  Never being able to relax, all five senses set to maximum and always walking around in a state of fight or flight. Almost like I was half in my body, half out.  I don't know how to explain it and I don't know if any of this is making any sense."

The counselor nodded her head and indicated for Maya to continue.

"I spent my whole life living in fear.  Fear of my parents, my father most definitely, fear of the future and then true fear, married to Shen.  This dream I cherished and held close to my heart, kept me going.  To have it right there, within my grasp, is more than I ever truly thought would happen.  I mean a dream is a dream, but to have that turn to reality..."  Maya rubbed her face with her hands and shook her head "It's like being blessed by the god's."

"Then there is Ian and Jin.  I never thought about having a husband or a child.  Seriously, after my experience with men, why would I ever want to be placed in a position to be subservant to anyone ever again!"

"How does the prospect make you feel now?" the counselor asked.

"Terrified.  Panicked."  Maya turned and flopped down onto the couch and leaned her head back over the top of the couch.  She covered her eyes with the heels of her palms.

"Okay.  Let's look at it this way.  Do you still feel that same fear when you think of Ian?"

Maya smiled.  "Well, no.  Ian is, he's, well-most girls dream come true.  He's handsome, sweet and kind.  Plus he is an excellent father.  Considering all that, this should be an easy decision.  Right?"

"I can't tell you that.  Only you know the answer to that."

Maya growled low in her throat in frustration, and resumed her pacing about the room.

"It's just that I never wanted to be THAT GIRL!  The girl who would be so heartless as to leave her husband and child.  It nearly broke me to to do it, but I couldn't stay. To stay meant letting go of that lifelong dream and even then I knew I never would have been happy.  It took getting away from Ian, and being in the real world to see what I couldn't see before.  I needed to see how things in the real world worked. I needed to learn to feel safe."

"But if I give up this opportunity to study in Paris with Megan Lightell, then I become THAT GIRL! The girl who gives up all her dreams to be a wife and stay at home mom.  I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that, " she clarified.  "Being a stay at home mom is a really hard job to do.  It's just that if I do that, then I will never know."

"Oh?  Know what exactly?" the counselor asked.

"To know if I was good enough to make it in the art world and make a name for myself."

"Maya.  You already know that.  Just the fact that out of so many possible people, Megan Lightell chose you.  I doubt she would waste her time on someone who wasn't potentially good enough."

Maya sat back down in the chair.  "I guess.  Still, not as good as Megan Lightell if she thinks I still have things to learn."

The counselor looked at Maya quizzically, then placed down her notebook.  "This isn't something I should be asking you since I work for the university, but I feel it is necessary in this case.  If you were to rate your improvement in art skills as a percentage, what percentage would you say is attributed to things you have been taught by the school?"
Maya just stared at her for a moment while she considered the question.  "I don't know.  Maybe twenty percent?"

"So you are telling me that in the two terms you have been here, your skills have increased eighty percent without school assistance? How do you think that happened?"

Maya thought back to her texting conversation with Ian and said "Practice.  Lots and lots of practice."

"So if you go home to your husband, is he going to expect you to give up your painting?"

"No.  Not at all.  Ian encourages me to paint. But how am I to get inspiration to paint, being stuck on a small pimple of an island with nothing but sky and water for a view?"

"I'm not an artist.  You tell me."

She looked at the counselor to see her smiling, which made Maya laugh, and she relaxed back into her chair.  She began to stare off across the room, twirling her hair around her fingers while she thought about the situation.  The counselor quietly watched as emotions crossed Maya's face while thoughts came and went from her mind.  After some time had passed, the counselor asked  "What is bouncing around in that brain of yours?"

"Hmmmm?  Oh, I was thinking about Eddy actually."

"Wow!  I did not see that coming at all."

"Don't get me wrong," Maya said.  "Nothing has changed.  It's just that now that the anger has passed, I kind of feel bad for him.  I see him around campus and he just looks so lost.  Almost like he lost his place in the world and he is stumbling."

Maya shifted on the chair to stretch out her legs.  "He calls me constantly, and approaches me on the street, begging me to take him back.  It's like he has lost the light of hope within him and all that is left is this desperation."

"Interesting," the counselor replied.

Maya looked at her confused.  "Now what is bouncing around in that head of yours?" she asked jokingly, turning the words back around.

The counselor just smiled and shook her head.

"So only you get to ask the questions then?" Maya asked.  "You do a lot of that smiling at your clients don't you?"

"Only when I think they may be onto something, or on the right line of thinking."

"So I said something to that effect then?"  Maya asked.

Once again the counselor just smiled.

"You know, if I was seeing you long term, that smiling thing could get really annoying,"  Maya said.

The counselor laughed out loud this time.  "Listen our time is nearly up, but I want you to head back to your dorm and think about some of the things we have talked about here today.  Maybe come see me tomorrow after class, and tell me then what you have come up with."

"That's it?  You aren't going to give me a hint at all or a nudge in the right direction?"  Maya asked.

"You're a smart girl.  I'm sure you will have no trouble at all."  She waved goodbye to Maya and closed the door.  Standing there at that moment, Maya was sure the counselor had more faith in her, than she had for herself.

For the rest of the night Maya went about her business with half a mind, while the other half was busy thinking about her situation. No matter which way she looked, she only saw frustration and sadness. She was so fearful of making the wrong choice, she wished an angel would appear in front of her and tell her the future, so would choose the right path.  When no angel appeared, she wished for something simpler, like a magic eight ball. For even though it was a just a toy, she felt at least with that in her hand, she would feel like she was doing something towards making a choice for her future.

Exhausted, she crawled into bed with the covers up over her head and went to sleep.

Maya found herself on a dark street, with loud and unfamiliar night sounds all around her.  She turned this way and that, trying to get her bearings, but she could not determine where she was, or remember how she had gotten there.  She took a few steps and listened.  "Hello," she said softly and then again a little more loudly.  Her voice echoed back to her.  Once again she turned this way and that, squinting her eyes, trying to make out clearer pictures of the shapes all around her.  Her heart was beating loudly in her ears and thumped almost painfully in her chest, which made taking deep breaths nearly impossible.

What was that?  A sound not to far off ahead of her like a person dragging them self across the ground.  Her eyes were beginning to adjust to the dark and to her right, she could make out the figure of a person kneeling on the ground.  As she walked towards him, he reached out his hands and called to her.

"Maya.  Help me!"

She walked cautiously to him, but when she reached him, he raised his head and she was frightened by what she saw.   There on the ground was Eddy, clothing torn and filthy from head to toe.  His hands groped for her in desperation, and when she finally came to him, she saw black holes where eyes should be and blood dripping from one side of his mouth.  He moaned guttural sounds and she jumped back in fear.  She turned and began to run down the street.

Frightening noises of all kinds surrounded her from all sides.  As the noises grew louder, she could feel something pulling at her clothes that hindered her from running.  Sounds of people screaming had joined the set of noises, and she feared the screams were coming from whatever was pulling her back.  So she summoned all her strength, broke free from the forces and set her path in the direction of a single street light at the end of the street. The closer she got to the streetlight, the louder the noises became and pains began to shoot through her head.  She crouched down and covered her head, trying to block her ears from the sounds. That is when she saw her. 

Huddled in a dark corner, was a small female child.  The moment Maya saw her, the noises began to fade in intensity and that is when Maya heard the child whimpering.  She approached the child carefully, not wanted to scare her. 

"Don't be frightened, I won't hurt you.  What is your name?"

"Hope.  My name is Hope."

"Well Hope.  I think we need to get out of here.  Do you know where we are?"

"I'm lost," and she began to cry.

"Hope.  Listen to me.  I promise we will get out of here.  Take my hand."

Together they began to run down the street towards the lit streetlight, when suddenly behind and beyond, a dark black shadow began to appear.  Maya stopped, frozen in fear and the shadow grew.  True terror rose up from the depths of her soul as she watched the shadow grow until it towered over them.   She looked down to find Hope was gone and she began screaming her name over and over.  That fear gave her motivation to move and she began frantically searching for her while screaming her name. Realizing she was nowhere to be found, total and utter despair overwhelmed her, as the world faded to black.

Maya bolted awake, panting heavily and holding her chest, as tears ran down her cheeks.  Paris came bursting into her room.

"Maya!  What happened?  You were screaming!"

Maya began to push the blankets off, and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

"I get it.  I get it now.  I know what the counselor meant!"  She leapt out of the bed and began frantically searching for her clothes.

"I can't believe it.  I was so stupid.  It's been staring me down right here!"  Maya indicated by waving her hand in front of her own face.

"Maya, you need to slow down.  I'm not following you."

Maya continued to whirl about as she finished getting dressed and brushed her hair, throwing it up into a hasty ponytail.  She went into the bathroom and came out with a tooth brush in her mouth, while still talking

"My whole life I had it so wrong.  Don't you get it?"

"No, not at all.  Where are you going?  It's seven in the morning,"  Paris asked.

"I have to go tell her!"

"Tell who, what?"  Paris yelled after her, as Maya raced out the door.  She ran down the stairs, out the door and jumped into her car. She raced over to the student union building, went inside and knocked on the counselor's door.

The counselor opened the door, crossed her arms and smiled.

Maya smiled back and said, "I understand now and you know what?"

"What?" 

"I am THAT GIRL!"

**********************************************************************













Sunday 30 November 2014

#Midnight Sun Challenge Chapter 1.38 The End is Near





It had been two weeks since Eddy had stormed into Sorority House looking for his pound of flesh, and she just couldn't hide in her room any longer.  So she waited till after dark when everyone had retired to bed, turned off the backyard lights and snuck out the back door.  The lake was the only place she could think to go, to ensure her the privacy she desperately needed to think things through.  

The moon over the lake glistened on the surface of the water like tiny lights flashing on and off with the gentle rolling of the waves. The air was cool, but not so cool as to need a winter coat and mitts, which meant that Spring had truly arrived.  

The fresh air smelled like wet grass, and carried along with it the fragrance of Spring flowers growing along the bank of the water. She stood there and stared at the water, grateful to be out of that room; a place she had so frequently shared with him. Maya had removed everything in her life she could that was linked to Eddy, and disposed of it in the trash, but the memories remained. They plagued her heart with guilt, shame and even anger, for the part she played in this whole tragic mess.  She had yet to see any of the media coverage of the marriage scandal, and she was sure she had no desire to either.  She couldn't think of a possible way to spin the story in her favour, to recover the already fragile reputation she had. She thought at this point that her life was officially over. What was she going to do now?

Heart heavy in sorrow and frustration, she laid back on the wet grass and stared at the stars.



She breathed the fresh Spring air in deeply, and stared at the stars, trying to clear her mind of all that had been weighing her down. She felt the stress begin to fade from her body with each breath and she focused on the beauty of the stars to calm her tattered nerves. Random thoughts of Ian entered her mind, as she recalled their night at the lake in Sunset Valley; and she smiled. However worry quickly replaced happiness, as she gave thoughts to his and Jin's safety.   She hoped that they had managed to stay away from the media.  Her room mates hadn't mentioned seeing anything in the news, so she she felt relatively sure that had been unharmed by the scandal.  She knew that to be a frivolous thought, because ultimately they had been hurt.  Hurt by her selfishness and desires. This new life she had just dived into, had been damaging on all sides.  Just another reminder that Ian was better off without her.

Maya had never allowed herself to truly think or consider how this whole situation had affected Ian.  She knew he would be confused by her leaving but she hadn't taken the time to consider just how he would feel waking up and finding her gone.  She had been raised with the knowledge that women were property.  If Maya had run away from Shen, he would have found her, dragged her back and severely punished her; enough so, that she would never think to do it again.  Her father would have done the same.  That was ownership; you didn't let go of something you owned.  Yet Ian had let her go.  Why?  She had thought at first, that Ian didn't care to have her, or was happy to have her gone. Otherwise he would have at least tried to get her back.  But since he hadn't, she pushed all concerns regarding Ian, to the back of her mind.

Maya was also raised to understand that men didn't love their wives.  Shen had never showed it, nor said it.  In all their years of marriage, he had never even kissed her, which she understood now to be an intimacy that directly displayed love.  Her father never kissed her mother or told either of them, he loved them.  She had, in her childish fantasy, fooled herself into believing he had to love her, because he was her father.  She understood now, that was her way of trying to console herself for the lack of affection she received from either parent.  Ian however, had directly said that he loved her and had written it in print more than a few times.  She didn't know that men were capable of love; lust yes, but not love. When she chose Ian in China, she felt she was just exchanging one horrendous life situation, for a lesser one that would afford her the ability to get away and live her own life, on her own terms.  When she arrived at the island, she was still in that state of flight or fight, and she didn't allow herself to see.  She didn't fully understand what she was leaving behind.  Ian, by not coming after her and dragging her back, had actually shown his love for her.  He gave her the chance and the freedom, to learn on her own, the kind of life she truly wanted to have.  She knew now that it definitely wasn't this one, but she also didn't want to give up on her dream of an art career. She didn't want Eddy either, for now she did fully understand what Nancy had been trying to protect her from.  She didn't think, he would ever be capable of love.  Which meant that a life with him would be meaningless, no matter how famous they were.  With his life slowly falling apart, she didn't want to be used as a pawn to fix his life.

Lastly, all her life she had been thoroughly schooled in the brutality men were capable of.  Her father's methods of discipline, should have been enough to break her spirit and create the demur, sub-servant wife he meant her to be for a husband.  But Sun had been her saving grace.  Just one day a week, had been enough to keep her spirit alive and give her hope for a new and better life. Had she been more schooled in the ways of the world and men, she would have known better than to get involved with someone like Eddy. That friendship was what kept her going through her marriage with Shen.  For they both had a common goal-to stay alive and get out of China.  Maya felt guilty that she had left her behind.  She knew now that if she had asked, Ian would have found a way to get Sun out too.  If she had known there were men in this world like Ian, she never would have left him.  Perhaps she could have found a way to have all her desires fulfilled?  Warmth filled her body as she thought about her few short months with Ian.  A caress of her cheek, a hug from behind, the way his lips moved perfectly with hers.  His smile when he laughed, and the way the corners of his lips curled just slightly even when he wasn't smiling. She was fascinated by his hands, for what reason she could not say. She just found them incredibly sexy.

She thought she must be imagining it but all of a sudden, Ian was standing there with a bright light behind him, calling her name like a faint echo in the distance.  At first she tried to understand where Ian had come from, but the more she listened,  she gradually heard it change into another man's voice. She woke with a start, to someone shaking her shoulder and saying her name.  Night had turned to day and Maya had spent the time sleeping soundly on the grass.  She woke to the bright sun shining in her eyes and she raised a hand to shield herself from the light.  Rising to a sitting position, she looked to the person next to her on the ground.




"Are you all right?" the man asked.

"Yes perfectly," Maya replied rubbing the sleep from her eyes.  "I know you, don't I? I've seen you around the university campus."

"Liam," he said laying his hand on his chest.  "Please, let me help you up," and grabbing Maya's arm, he gently pulled her to a standing position.



"Thank you.  I appreciate that.  Could you please tell me the time?"

Looking at his watch, he replied that it was nearly eight in the morning.  Maya thanked him again and excused herself to return to the house.  It wasn't until she had nearly returned, she realised last night, had been her first full nights sleep in weeks.

Hannah, had convinced her to return to her life and so she did, attending a few of her classes and working on her art.  It was a difficult endeavour, as Eddy shared most of her classes with her. During school hours, he respected her wishes to be left alone, but the time spent in the same room was incredibly awkward, with reporters snapping photos inside and out of the classroom.  

She had taken to dressing in non designer clothing, hiding her appearance and attempting to hide from the paparazzi.  She hated all the clothes in her closet, as they reminded her of Eddy and all the times they shared.  So she refused to wear them. 



The paparazzi continued to print false stories about her mental decline, but the truth was since she had started to get back to her own life, she had begun to get stronger.  She was enjoying being on her own and her thoughts were becoming more and more clear. Being responsible to herself for the first time in her life, brought her a new sense of happiness she had never experienced before. The feeling was liberating and it was like the sky was brighter and the air smelled sweeter.  She knew that sounded corny, like something she read in a love story, but it really was true.  It was as 
if she had been carrying a load of bricks on her shoulders,  and wearing a mask her whole life.  Now, with the burdens lifted, she was experiencing things for the first time.  She never wanted to go back to that feeling of darkness ever again.

Even in a slight disguise, Maya could never go far without being approached by people on the street hoping for an autograph, or just to chat.  



She had been asked out on several dates, but she had politely declined, stating that she wished to be single for now.  No one, other than the paparazzi, was bold enough to enquire about her husband, but she was able to kindly deny their requests for interviews.  She was feeling so pleased with the way things were going, that she decided to venture out in public a little more.  Most people were quite friendly but there was the odd few that felt the need to heckle her and make their sentiments known.  



She thought it was interesting, that it was always people she didn't know, nor had ever met.  Like this man who had been at the lake, the night she went.  He took one look at her, was very unkind and ran off.

Not wanting to go out alone, Maya invited Paris and Margaret to the spa in Sunset Valley for the ultimate spa experience.  They had a wonderful day, with Paris and Margaret getting a complete makeover from head to toe. They looked absolutely beautiful. Somehow the media had discovered they were there, for as they left the building, the press was there waiting. 




The friends posed for pics, before heading back to Sorority House for a quiet evening in.  Paris and Margaret kept thanking her profusely for the makeover spa day and she hugged them both, telling them they were very welcome.  Back at Sorority House the girls spent the evening giggling over handsome massage artists, and things like the mud bath experience.  They honestly had no idea they actually would be sitting in a tub of mud!  But their skin looked and felt amazing, which made the experience well worth the while.

A couple of days later, Paris asked Margaret and Maya to go with her to her family horse farm, just outside of University Town. When they arrived, Maya, who had never spent any time around horses, cautiously approached the fence.  Immediately, a beautiful black and white spotted horse named Midnight, came to greet her. He took to her instantly, nuzzling her continuously as a sign of affection. 



Maya began by leading him around the field to get used to the size of this very friendly animal.  With some encouragement from Paris, Maya climbed up onto Midnight's back and experienced her very first horse back ride.  Midnight, being a jumping horse by nature, was patient with Maya as a new rider, but just couldn't hold back from doing what he loved to do best.  Margaret caught the expression on Maya's face, as Midnight approached and jumped over the low jump for beginning riders.  



Margaret nearly fell to the ground laughing, and couldn't wait to show Maya the pic when her ride was done.  Margaret, who was a bit of a coward, took a little longer and a lot more coaxing to get up on her horse's back.  In no time and some help from Paris, she was on the back of her horse, with the same terrified expression.  Maya, of course, caught that in a little pic of her own.

 


A few days later, the girls headed over to the Grotto to play pool and drink a few rounds of juice.  It was a fairly quiet night, which allowed them to play pool most of the time they were there. 





Maya was able to converse with some of the university students, who were looking to blow off some steam over the stress of getting reading for finals in a month's time.  She finally got to meet the all famous Jeffrey Dean.  She had heard about him all over campus from the female students, but had never encountered him.  Dark hair, beard, leather jacket and a smile she was sure, had won him many a bed play mate.  He wasn't as handsome as Eddy but certainly just as charming.  When he really started to turn on the charm, she bid him goodnight, grabbed the girls and headed back to Sorority House.  I've been down that road once before she thought, and I never want to travel it again.



Everyone had been gracious and the girls all had a wonderful time. They returned early to the house, around ten in the evening but they were all feeling quite happy. They had drank many rounds of juice, although were still far from being too juiced. Maya, as the designated driver had come home sober, so she sent Paris and Margaret up to bed, following up the stairs behind them.  She entered her room and stopped dead in her tracks.


There in her bed, was Hannah in the middle of a woo hoo with Eddy. Hannah peered over the covers, and gave Maya a look she could only describe as evil satisfaction.  Eddy, on the other hand, was decidedly very juiced, and continued on unaware that Maya had even entered the room.  Maya thought he appeared to be so juiced, she couldn't believe he was even conscious.

"Get out!  Get out both of you!"  Maya screamed.

Hannah crawled out from under Eddy, and stepped from the bed, holding her hands in mock misunderstanding.



"What's the matter Maya?  Don't like what you see?"

Eddy turned and finally figured out what was going on.  He began to reach for her, slurring Maya's name before passing out on the bed.

"You slimy little witch," Maya screamed at her.  "Get out of my room!"

"Serves you right Maya!  For not including me in all your little girlfriend outings.  This will teach you to leave me behind and out of the fun!"

"Why on earth would I want to spend any time with a mean spirited, childish brat?  Get out!"



The heated argument between the two women, brought the rest of the household to Maya's doorway. Paris as head of the household and concerned friend, pushed her way through the group to stand next to Maya.  She looked to Hannah and then to Maya's bed and shoved Maya in the direction of the door.  Which was a good thing because Maya was fighting the urge to grab Hannah by the hair and smack her silly.  She didn't care that she slept with Eddy. But to do it in her bed was completely uncalled for!  One by one the girls left Maya's room seemingly on a mission and the next thing she knew, Hanna was being marched out of the house, suitcases in hands, whimpering to Paris about where she was going to go.  Eddy was also being escorted, but mostly dragged out, and was thrown into the back of a cab waiting at the street.  Paris folded her arms across her chest and smiled a very satisfied smile. She looked at Hannah and simply said,

"You want him so badly, you can go live with him."

"I don't want him," Hannah screamed.  "I just wanted to teach Maya a lesson!"

"Well" said Paris.  "How does that saying go?  Something about we all have our own made beds to lie in?"  

Then she turned around, entered the house and closed the door.
Some of the girls began to laugh, but Paris gave them a very stern look which told them to be quiet, so they covered their mouths and walked away.  Maya's body was pulsating anger as this nasty dialogue carried on in her head.  She was grateful to all her housemates, but she secretly wished that Paris had just let her give Hannah what was coming to her.  She wasn't sorry to finally see her gone from the house.  Margaret entered into her room and sat down on the couch watching Maya strip her bed of all the bedding.

"You don't need to do that now.  You could sleep with me tonight," said Margaret.

Maya blew out a big breath as she yanked the last corner of the sheet off the bed.

"Thank you Margaret.  But I don't think I could even begin to sleep right now.  I'm going to go outside and blow off some steam first. But thank you."

"Okay.  But you know where my room is if you change your mind."  She gave Maya a hug and left the room.  Maya sat down on the bed resisting the urge to cry.  "You will not cry." she told herself.  So she grabbed up the bedding and took it downstairs to the washer.   Everyone had gone off to bed leaving the house quiet, so Maya headed outside and stared at the bright stars in the sky. Funny how, the stars were always her calming embrace these days, like someone was looking out for her from above.  She was never going to sleep tonight with this anger boiling inside her chest.  If it were another place and time she would just lift her eyes to the stars and scream it all out.  But not wanting to disturb anyone she went to sit in a lounge chair by the pool.  

Eddy! She didn't care how juiced he was, if he had any feelings for her what so ever, he never would have allowed his actions to get that far.  Oh yes, he cared for her all right!  She wondered how many other women he had slept with since they official broke up; let alone the number of women when they were together.  In all his pleadings with her to take him back, he said he needed her, but for what?  For woo hoo?   Apparently he could get that at the drop of a hat.  He said they were good together, and he was right, they were. As a celebrity couple, who barely saw one another, they deserved the title Favourite Celebrity Couple.  But she wanted more.  This life was just too hard.  Even with China's traditions and the way women were looked upon, she never felt as degraded as she did every time she was hurt by Eddy.  In all his abuse, Shen had never treated her as badly as Eddy had in the five short months they had been together. Ian, with his beautiful heart,  would never hurt her this way.  Suddenly she missed him and wished he was standing right in front of her so she could throw herself into his arms and never let go.  She pulled out her phone, thinking to text him, but realised how late it was and changed her mind.  Covering herself with a blanket, Maya closed her eyes and fell asleep to fit full dreams.

A new day dawned and even though her night had been full of disconcerting dreams, she had among all the thoughts, made some very important decisions.  It was time to take real control of her life.  Time after time she had put herself in situations that only reinforced the mentality she had grown up with.  That had to change, starting now.  Time to take care of Maya, and forget about anything else.  So Maya made a clear plan to do exactly that.  She established a new, positive mental health routine.  



She started her day by visiting the gym for a physical workout, then had lunch by the lake, before heading back to the gym to join a yoga class in the afternoon. 





She had enquired in the mental health office, and found a counsellor to sit down and discuss everything that was going on in her life. She needed an outside person to help her sort through the mess, and help her achieve some clarity.  In the evenings, she spent the time in her room focusing on her artwork by sketching or painting. Little by little she felt a sense of peace was over her, and she learned to forgive herself for the role she had played in allowing herself to be treated like she was unworthy.  In doing that, she was able to forgive herself for all the wrong doings she had done to others.  Through that she struggled, but found a way to at least begin to understand her parents.  Forgiving Shen was going to take some time.  For him she could find no excuse except bad traditions and horrendous parenting practises, for creating the man he had become.  In her quest for forgiveness, she wrote letters to her parents and one to Sun.  She didn't expect her parents would respond, but she did hope to hear from Sun.

The date for Ian's return was looming, with only three weeks left on the calendar.  School was wrapping up and she had begun to prepare for her finals, which mostly consisted of painting projects. She was incredibly thankful for that, as it took a lot of extra stress off her shoulders while she prepared for the end of school and the beginning of her new life, whatever that may be.

Monday morning, Maya was preparing for her first morning class of the day, when an envelope was slipped under her door.  Not again, she thought.


Dean Blue requests your presence 
at his office
Monday 3:00 p.m.

Rolling her eyes, she recalled her last encounter with the Dean. She considered not going but as unpleasant that was, she did get an amazing opportunity out of the meeting.  So she decided to go.  She spent the rest of the day barely focusing on her classes, fully immersed in the memories of her last meeting with Dean Blue.  By the time three in the afternoon arrived, she had wound herself into a state of tension for whatever he was up to now.  This time, she didn't have Eddy as an excuse, so what would she say if he tried that tactic again?

The secretary opened his office door and Maya cautiously stepped inside.

"Maya.  Thank you for coming.  Please let me introduce Miss Megan Lightell."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Maya."

Maya shook Megan's hand, confused in what was going on.

"Maya, I don't know if you know who I am but-"

"Oh no, I do.  How could I not.  You are a very famous landscape artist from Paris."

"Well, I don't know if I would say very famous, but my work has gotten around.  I'm a good friend of Dean Blue and he was kind enough to send me some of your work.  You have real talent Maya."

Friend of the Dean?  She wondered exactly what that meant. "Thank you very much.  I've learned a lot from my professors at university," Maya replied.

"I'm sure that your time at the school has been enlightening in some areas, but your kind of talent Maya, that comes from within.  I've seen it before.  My guess would be that the amount of practice time needed for all your school projects would be responsible for bringing the talent more out of you."

Maya hadn't looked at it that way, but did have to agree that she could have a point.  So she nodded.

"Listen, I want to pass something by you and see what you think. Every few years I take on an apprentise for one year.  I would like to make that offer to you.  A one year apprenticeship to come to Paris and study landscape painting.  You will stay with me during that time, travel with me wherever I go, and continue to do your own painting.  All your expenses will be paid for you.  During that time I will help you get your paintings out into the world and assist you in making a name for yourself."

Maya was stunned.  Everything she had ever dreamed of had just been dropped into her lap.

"Are you serious?"  Maya asked, heart pounding in her chest and a little breathless.

Megan just smiled this big smile and nodded her head.  

"But I want you to understand that this isn't a fun vacation.  It will be hard work and I will expect only the most professional behavior, or I will end it immediately.  I have a very grueling schedule for the year ahead, with many commitments already laid out.  There will not be much time for fun.  But at the end of the year, I will guarantee you will have learned what I can teach you, and I will get your name out into the art world.  What you do with that assistance, will depend on you."


Maya was overwhelmed with so much emotion she didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  The thought of studying under a famous artist like Megan and travelling around the world was more than she had believed she would ever achieve since the scandal!  That would give her a whole year to figure out her life and perhaps get her set up into something amazing.  She could make a name for herself and wouldn't Jin be so proud of his mother then.

 Jin! The minute Jin entered her mind, all the excitement came crashing down.

Megan, who had been watching the excitement of the prospect light up Maya's face, then saw sorrow.  She asked Maya if everything was all right.

"Ah, yes.  Do you need an answer right now?" Maya asked.

"No. No.  Take some time to think about it.  Would two weeks be enough time?"

Maya nodded yes and rose from her chair.  She shook Megan's hand and thanked again her for this wonderful opportunity.  She then left and walked to Sorority House in a daze.  Opportunities like this just don't come around every day, she thought to herself. You need to grab these moments while you can!  'This is your last chance,' Ian had said in his letter.  Her dream was right there, completely within her grasp.  'You can reconnect with Jin again when he turns into an adult, but not before,' Ian had said.  This should be an easy choice Maya, she said to herself.  Make the right one.

Maya had studied Megan's paintings in one of her classes, but beyond that she really didn't know anything about her.  She found a quiet, shady spot in the quad and pulled out her laptop to do some checking up on her.  She was trying hard not to let negative thoughts get the best of her, but this all seemed a little good to be true. Normally a recommendation from the Dean would be reassuring, but considering how she felt about him, she didn't find it reassuring at all.    

From her research, Maya determined that Megan did live in France. She owned quite a large ancestral yellow brick home that was surrounded by beautiful rolling fields. The house sat up on a hill, and from the pictures, the view from her front door took your eye down small rolling hills and across the water.  She could see one of those views in one of her most famous paintings.  The artwork displayed on her home page was truly stunning, but one of the things she liked the most, was that she had prints made for those who couldn't afford her paintings.  To Maya that meant she cared for those who admired her artwork.  From the articles written in several reputable art magazines, Megan had in the past, taken on other artists for apprenticeships.  She managed to locate one online, and sent him a message on his page.  She hoped he managed to get back to her soon, as two weeks was not a lot of time to make this decision. She closed her eyes and dreamed about standing in the middle of one of those rolling fields and she could almost feel the wind on her face and the heat of the sun on her head.  She wondered if Paris had a winter season with snow.  That question prompted many more.  

By the time she finished researching Megan and the city of Paris, it was getting dark and she decided to head back to the house. Closing her laptop she felt the sharpness of a nasty headache that was making her feel nauseous to her stomach.  She got into her car and drove home, but by the time she got there the headache was worse.  She climbed the stairs to her room with every intention of crawling under the covers to sleep it off.  When she opened the door, she found a large white box sitting on her bed. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves and her tummy, she pulled the ribbon off the box, opened the lid and froze. Pulling back the fine tissue coverings she lifted the item from the box and held it in front of her.  It was amazing!  She was totally confused where it had come from and searched for any letter or card.Looking down, she saw an envelop tucked under the box and she sat down to read it.

Dear Maya,

I hope this letter finds you well and safe. I know this past month must have been challenging for you and although I feel terrible for leaving you, this time apart has probably done both of us some good.  Being away from the world, has really given me time to think,clear my head and put things into perspective. 


I feel that my last letter to you was a little unfair and harsher than it needed to be.  Asking you to make the choice between seeing your son and waiting till he was an adult, was in response to seeing his reaction to having you leave.  In retrospect, I have come to believe that his reaction to missing you as a toddler, would not be the same as it would if he were a child, and certainly not as a teen.  Jin needs you in his life and if that means it will only be on a temporary basis, than that is better than nothing at all.  If this is truly what you want, then together we can make it work.


However if you choose to return to us, then I want to make the first step in changing the course of our future life together.  It will be a new life, with the last eight months forgotten and left in the past. I feel that this is the right way to start over and make everything right between us.  So Maya,


(Turning the page, she found:)







WILL YOU MARRY ME...AGAIN?  

I will wait for you at the altar and if you don't come, I will know I have your answer.

Love Ian


**************************************************

Thank you to all the great creators at MTS

Summer Pose Pack by hepis
http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=504579

Yoga Mat (animations)
http://modthesims.info/d/470223

Megan Lightell Home Page

http://www.meganlightell.com

Thursday 20 November 2014

#Midnight Sun Challenge Chapter 1.37 Lies and Deception



Eddy's departure for his movie tour, afforded Maya the ability to focus all her energy on the few classes she needed to attend, and her new teaching opportunity.  The students were attentive to her lessons, and were very eager to learn techniques, that seemed to come naturally to Maya.  She was so intent on doing the assignment well, she found Eddy had barely come to mind.  To be more accurate, she hadn't missed him at all.  He also hadn't called, which she wasn't at all surprised about.  She knew the tour had a very busy schedule, and that he was greatly looking forward to meeting up with his band mates at the end.  She was sure he wasn't missing her at all either.

Eddy's return, however, was a totally different matter.  His focus seemed to be directed entirely upon her.  He never wanted them to be apart and almost virtually moved into Sorority House.  He even took the time to attend her classes, sitting on the sidelines watching her every move.  She was starting to find it disconcerting, and wondered what the reasoning was behind this new behaviour. She had asked him several times if there was anything bothering him, but he had charmingly responded that he had missed her tremendously while he was gone.  She knew something was amiss, but she chose to focus her energy on her own responsibilities, with the hope that everything would work itself out in time.

The week after Eddy's return, newspapers and magazines began reporting that Eddy and Paola's movie was a "huge flop."  The headlines read such things as:

"Eddy Mullins-The New Name In Crappy Sappy Love Stories"

"Love After Death Died With the Addition of Eddy Mullins" 




Suddenly, Eddy's recent behaviour began to make sense, and she tried to talk to him about the reports.  Eddy responded that the success of the movie had no bearing on his future, and therefore he didn't care about the reviews.  It was a fun experience, he said, one he had learned a lot from.  Maya didn't believe a word and felt incredibly sad for Eddy.  She knew how she would feel if she had taken on such a task, only to be told that she wasn't in touch with her feelings.  She didn't know what the reviewers were talking about.  She believed that it was more the case of inexperience and perhaps, uncertainty in the way things worked in the movie world.   Either way, if it had been her, she would have been devastated. She hadn't yet seen the movie, as it wasn't due to be released in University Town for another two weeks.  She was looking forward to watching it, and voicing her opinions on the matter after ward. 

Her teaching assignment complete, she put aside all other responsibilities and gave her attentions to Eddy.  Under her affections he came more alive, more attentive, showering her with gifts and extravagant dates.  The hot air balloon ride was the most surprising date.



He said he wanted to make up for not being in town for Valentines Day.  Yet, he spent the ride trying to get her to take off her clothes, telling her how thrilling it would be to woo hoo in the air.  She was grateful she declined, for soon after they lifted off, another balloon toting members of the press, arrived in the air beside them.




 Since her current view of reporters was not a friendly one, she glared at them for ruining what could have been, a very romantic date.  After that they settled in for a more quiet life.  Maya, who was fed up with the paparazzi, chose to stay in as much as possible, focus on her painting and ponder life while doing so.  She still had no idea what she was going to say to Ian when he returned. The date was circled in red on her calendar, a visual omen to her future.




Monday morning, Maya and Eddy attended their early morning class together.  Their teacher chose to host the class outdoors, asking the students to sketch some statues on the university grounds.  She did have to admit that drawing and painting people were the weakness in her skill, so any teachings on the subject were greatly appreciated.  In the middle of the class, Maya's phone began to ring, and after checking the caller I.D. she answered the phone.

"Chloe!  I'm so happy to hear from you!  I've been calling you for days."  


"Maya, I'm so sorry. The shop has been so incredibly busy, and I'm trying to spend as much of my spare time with my father as I possibly can."

"How is your father?" Maya asked.

"He is well actually.  He has completely surprised his doctors in his recovery.  If things continue on as they are, I will be able to return to college for the fall semester!"

"Chloe, that's wonderful!  I only wish I was going to be here with you when you did."  


"Listen Maya, being where we are, we are privy to information sooner than you and  I know you avoid all the celebrity magazines as much as possible.  So I was wondering, have you seen any of the celebrity magazines in the past few days?"

"No, why?' she responded, feeling immediately frustrated.  "What lies are they printing now?"







   









Then Chloe had the unfortunate task of letting Maya know the latest news.  Turning her back from the class, she listened intently and when Chloe finished, she closed her phone and walked away. She walked around the block to the nearest shop, purchased a few magazines, and took them back to her dorm room to read them in private.  When she was finished, she was devastated.  Paris quietly knocked on her door, and poked in her head after hearing Maya's distress from the hall way.


"I can't believe it.  I just can't believe it!"

"You have to know.   You need to find out, otherwise, you will always wonder."  




Maya nodded her head.  "You're right.  I know you're right."  Maya picked up the phone and made the dreaded call.

Under the moonlight, Maya stood on the hill at the park behind the Sorority House.  It wasn't long before Eddy arrived.  He leaned in to give her a brief kiss on the lips, rubbing his hands in response to the cold night air.  





















"So what are we doing all the way up here?" he asked wiggling his eyebrows at her, as he always did when he was trying to woo her.

"I thought that a little privacy was needed."









"Oh? Privacy for what?"


















"I wanted to talk about this," and she handed him the magazine.



The article went on to report, that during Eddy's stay in Bridgeport over the Christmas holidays, Eddy had gotten Illeana Montegrande pregnant.  He was now the father to a healthy baby boy named James Edward Montegrande.  According to the birth date on the certificate, Illeana Montegrande would have been a few weeks shy of her 18th birthday, when the dirty deed occurred.

Eddy looked up from the magazine, red faced from either embarrassment or anger; which one she couldn't be sure.

"Is it true?"

"Maya, look-"

"It is!  It's true!  You cheating, low life jerk!"








   



     








"Oh no!  No!  You left Maya, and refused to answer the phone or let me know where you were.  I had no idea if we were broken up or still together!"

"You can't possibly think that is an excuse.  Not knowing gave you permission to hop into bed with whomever you chose to?"

"I came for you Maya!  I swallowed my pride and stepped foot onto a property, I vowed I would never go to again.  You sent me away! As far as I was concerned that was you breaking up with me.  It didn't happen till after that."  




"So you jump into bed with a teenage girl of all people.  You're disgusting!"

"I didn't know she was a teen!  She never told me how old she was.  If she had, I never would have allowed it to happen."

"Teen or not Eddy, until the words were spoken; until I said I didn't want to date you anymore, you should have assumed we were still together.  But you, you who are always looking for an excuse to whip out that appendage between your legs!  I mean seriously, is that all you think about?  I was gone for seventeen days Eddy! How many others did you sleep with in that time?  




"Oh, c'mon Maya!  This, is as much your fault as it is mine!"

"My fault?  My fault?  Did I get that girl pregnant?  You know come to think about it, you don't seem all that surprised by this news.  How long have you known?"

"I found out while I was in Bridgeport."  




Maya threw back her head and sarcastically laughed out loud.  "It finally makes sense.  Can you believe I actually felt sorry for you!  You come home dragging your tail between your legs, and I figure it has to do with the movie failing. While all along, you knew this was coming.  You knew I was going to find out! That is what all this has been about for the past few weeks!  Damage control!"  Eddy started to speak and Maya cut him off with a wave of her hand.  
"You know what? I can't even look at you right now.  Just go!  I don't want to talk to you anymore."

"Maya.  I'm sorry, please listen!"

Maya turned her back on Eddy and he walked away.  She stood there seething in anger and staring at the stars.  She couldn't believe how stupid and naive she had been.  What kind of man was he anyway? One who completely fooled her apparently.  Maya felt sick inside, like she needed a good shower inside and out.  She felt complete revulsion thinking of the person she had been sleeping with for four months.  She was thankful that her instincts had been telling her to refuse him in the bedroom for the past seven weeks. She started to feel sorry for the Montegrande daughter, but then realised, that no woman fell into Eddy's arms, that didn't want to be there.  Little bitch!  How many others had there been since she started dating Eddy?  The more she thought about it, the more her skin crawled.  She didn't think she would ever feel clean again.

Taking a few cleansing breaths and feeling a little more steady, Maya began to walk through the park back towards the house. Fireflies stirred from the grass and began to fly in circles above her head and she decided she wanted to try and sketch them. 




Sitting down in the grass, she began to sketch the scenery, attempting to add the light from the fireflies to the dark.  Memories of the night at the lake with Ian can flooding back, and she smiled. Maya watched the fireflies till the cold began to seep into her bones.  



Then she headed back to the dorm, showered and crawled into bed. Tomorrow she was going to the local hospital to be tested for any diseases they could think of! It was the only way she was going to feel comfortable in her own skin again. She was almost asleep, when she suddenly realised that she hadn't cried.  He's not worth tears, she thought.  I will not cry for him, and she didn't.

Once the story was released in her part of the world, reporters went insane with their ambition to get as many photos of Eddy and Maya as they could snap.  Maya couldn't go anywhere without cameras being shoved in her face, however she refused to hide.  She didn't want to give the press the satisfaction of reporting she was devastated.  They did anyway.  Before she knew it, articles began popping up citing she was so devastated by Eddy's cheating she was losing weight, becoming anorexic; becoming unstable.  Photos of Maya in places around the university plastered the front pages of magazines and newspapers alike.


























The pictures had to be photo shopped, she thought to herself.  I don't really look like that; that thin! Maya stood in front of her full length mirror in her dorm room one night trying to compare her body to the pics in the mags.  She had lost a little weight over the past two months, but certainly not that much-had she?  From that moment on, Maya began dressing in layers and loser fit clothing to hide her thin body.

The press wasn't the only issue Maya was facing.  People she had once thought to be friends, began whispering behind her back.

A few of her dorm mates stood by her, including Paris, who had been a good friend.  Not wanting to drag anyone else into this mess, Maya continued to go out alone to make appearances, and show the world that Eddy Mullins had not brought her down.

Eddy had been calling her non stop, trying to get Maya to reconcile but she made it very clear to him that she was not interested.


  










Two weeks after the big blow up fight, Eddy showed up at Sorority House.  The expression on his face was like nothing she had ever seen and at the moment, she was truly fearful for her life.  She tried to slam the door in his face, but he pushed his way through. The altercation brought the other members of the household to the scene, giving Eddy an audience.



"You lying, little slut!  Walk around like miss high and mighty because I made one little mistake. You! You-what a fucking hypocrite you are!  Were you ever going to tell me?"

At such intense anger, Maya began to slowly back up.  Eddy matched every step with one of his own towards her.

"Listen up everyone.  Little Miss Perfect here...is married! Married! But what's worse, she has a child-a son.  A son she abandoned along with her husband!"

From behind Maya, she heard many gasps.  Maya was shocked and stood there stunned for a few seconds before she could speak.

"How?  How did you find out?"

"It wasn't really that difficult.  All I had to do was search your phone.  Found that number that has been texting you so much. Your husband, I presume," he said ending his speech with a sneer.

"My past personal life is none of your business Eddy.  What has happened between him and I has nothing to do with you!"

"Really!  So you can sleep with another man for four months while married, whereas I make one little mistake and I am public enemy number one!  Perhaps we should see what the public thinks about your past-personal life-huh?"

"No please Eddy!  This isn't just about you and I anymore.  Just leave them out of it.  They don't deserve this."




"Out of my hands Maya."  Then Eddy sauntered out the door.

Pacing the foyer floor, hysteria began to build insider her chest.  He wouldn't do that to me would he?  What was she going to do?  How could everything have fallen apart so badly in such a short time? What was she going to do?  How could she have judged someones character so wrongly?  This is going to ruin everything.  What was she going to do?  My whole life is over. Ian may never speak to me again

Somewhere inside her deep thoughts, she felt the pressure of gentle hands leading her away from the front door.  Sitting her down on the soft sofa, she could hear voices speaking around her from a far away echo.




"I think she is in shock.  Maya?  Maya can you hear me?"

"Should we call the doctor?"

"Let's just give her a minute."

"Maya?"  Someone was shaking her shoulder.  She looked up to see friends staring at her with concerned looks on their faces.

"What am I going to do?" she asked quietly.

Paris rubbed Maya's arms and very calmly said "I think maybe you should call your husband."

"Right," still in a daze she began to rise off the couch and was gently forced back to her seat.

"Perhaps you should wait until you are a little more with us," said Paris, then a glass of juice was placed into her hand.
"Drink this," said Margaret.

"So Maya," said Hanna, "got any pictures of this husband of yours?  What's his name?"  Paris turned and slapped Hanna's arm.

"Ian."  Maya jumped up off the couch.  "I need to call Ian, excuse me."

Maya raced up to her room still feeling a sense of panic but more focused than before. She was dreading making this call, and wasn't sure how she was going to tell him.
Dialling the number, she counted the rings, waiting for him to pick up.  When she got his voice mail, she paused for a second trying to decide if leaving a message was the right thing to do. Getting this information to him as quickly as possible was most important, so she began to speak.

"Ian.  Its Maya.  Everything is falling apart.  It's Eddy-he found out about you and Jin.  I, I think he plans to take it to the media.  I'm so sorry!  I'm sorry for this whole mess!  I-"  Then his phone beeped, indicating the end of the message space.  Maya sat down on the bed, thoughts still racing through her mind.  She worried how angry Ian was going to be, and if he would ever want to see her again. At this point she was regretting a lot of decisions she had made and wished she had never come to university.  If she hadn't come, she would never have met Eddy Mullins.

A few minutes later, her phone beeped indicating a message.

"Thank you for letting me know.  It was going to come out sooner or later.  Boat is well stocked with supplies.  We will head out to open water.  I will return the end of April."


Maya breathed a sigh of relief and sent a text back  "Please be safe!" She wanted to add "Love you", but even though she knew it to be true, she didn't think it was fair to Ian to say it.









The next few weeks were really difficult for Maya.  The night Eddy had stormed into the dorm, he apparently went to a party up by the lake and was photographed with a woman in a hay pile.  


She didn't know who the woman was and she simply didn't care. 

















She struggled with thoughts that this was all her fault.  She should have seen through Eddy's projected persona, to the real person he was.  She was so determined to find that "better life", that she literally jumped in, without looking.  Was she really surprised this had happened to her?  Not really, for in the male department, she was doomed to always be treated like she was nothing.  First her father, who only saw dollar signs when he looked at her, to Shen, whose abuse of her she had felt she deserved.  Just like she tried to get Ian to understand; she wasn't worth fighting for, and she had just proven it with Eddy.  What kind of woman walks away from a wonderful man like Ian, to jump right back into a degrading relationship?  Obviously one who wasn't worth fighting for.

These thoughts plagued her for about two weeks.  She stopped going to all of her classes during that time and virtually hid, wallowing in her own unworthiness.  



She had yet to see what the papers were reporting, and she tried not to care.  Her dorm mates were sympathetic keeping all forms of media out of the house, and didn't talk about it around Maya.

With nothing left to hide, she brought out a few of the photos of Ian and Jin, to place around the room.  Even though they were only pictures, she felt comforted by them. Hannah had come in one day to fawn over how handsome Maya's husband was.  Then she proceeded to tell her the articles over the scandal of Maya being married, had been quite small.  The reporters couldn't find Ian to colaberate the story, and with Maya missing as well, all the reporters could do was speculate.  Speculate they did, saying this was a dirty move on Eddy's part.  A revenge rumour, to take the heat off himself over cheating on Maya, and getting a teenage girl pregnant.  Hannah suggested that Maya come out of hiding and resume her life, to prove to the reporters she had done nothing wrong. So she did, attending a few classes, while reporters stood outside and snapped pictures through the windows.



Eddy continued to make the papers, the biggest news being he had been kicked out of his band.  The article reported that while the band members respected Eddy for his talented, they themselves did not want to be associated with the scandal.  Jonny J, had taken over as lead singer for the band, and the group put out a whole new album with all new songs.  Album sales had gone through the roof, and you couldn't go anywhere without seeing his face on the front of a celebrity magazine.

Eddy continued to call and beg her to take him back.  He took to stalking her in the public approaching her on the sidewalk. 



 Maya didn't know how many different ways to explain to him, that they were never, ever getting back together!  
  

Like ever!-thank you Taylor Swift.